yesterday's cell message was really good. talking about valleies. i guess valleries are very much like disappointments. they can't be avoid or prevented and all. but yet we know that in all situations, as long as we believe and trust in Him, we can pull through all things. when you can't see God's hand, learn to trust in His heart. :)
felt that as the weekend service approaches, i feel so much to get into His presence. honestly i feel that the presence of God is only as much as you want it. if you don't pull His presence down youself, no one is going to do it for you. as much as the musicans can play or the song leader and sing and lead, it all still depends alot on yourself. which i did and i know cos deep down i really wanted to grasp something.
went down to serve in ministry and it was extra tiring as i was down to serve for the saturday extended ministry service for another two hours. as time passes, the kids gets really restless and starts running all over the plac and the teachers [including me] were dead tired already. adam, this young boy is really like as if we have magnetic connections. but he's really cute and sweet. :) that's one side of the story cos the other side is about his crying power. carrying him while him crying OUT LOUD was really deafening as he was crying into my ears. it took me a while to cool him down and to finally sit down to play with the rest. i don't understand why kids don't like people carrying them to sit down when they are already carried. unfair. :/
after service, met up with rongping, rubez, jason, wahkeong for late dinner. all of them were sharing about service and what happened, especially those interesting ones. after hearing all that, i was supposed to feel happy for them but instead i started to feel weird about the service tomorrow. i called up shiqi and shared with her. thankfully for her, i felt a lot better when i reached home. didn't really know what to expect. just a little afraid and weird feelings attached.
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on my way to expo today, i kept praying. i never felt so weird about deliverance service before. the more uneasy i was, the more i knew i got to go for service. i prayed and told God that though i don't know what to expect later, i really don't want to keep having my own imaginations, but i just want to trust You. i kept repeating, I JUST WANT TO TRUST YOU. I JUST WANT TO TRUST YOU. I JUST WANT TO TRUST YOU... all the way into service and throughout service.
very soon it was ministrying service. i seriously was excited but yet scare at the same time. i just wanted so much to worship Him first and pull down His presence. during the first alter call, i feel a little tensed up by the releasing of evil spirits by other people, but i kept telling God that I JUST WANT TO TRUST YOU, no matter what happens. as soon as pastor mike gave the second alter call, i quickly walked out and was really ready and prepare for anything to happen, to come, to...
a lady very quickly came over to pray for me me. i felt uneasy as pastor started praying and i was shaking slightly, trying to move away and to shake off the lady's hand on my shoulder. but she gripped me firmly that i couldn't move much and prayed strongly with me as we were led into the prayer. at first i started crying buckets while she was praying. before i knew it, the person in front knocked onto me and i fell on the floor. as the lady continued to pray for me, i started to feel my hands shaking and started to push her away. the next moment, i was on the ground, trying to escape her. i can only remember my hands and body were pinned down as i was struggling hard to break free from them and was crying out [somewhat screaming]. it was really beyond the control of my actions. i couldn't stop myself. the next moment i was held up from the ground and she started praying again. i started breathing very hard and coughed hard. the lady was really nice, she held me really close to her and i really felt as if God held me up in His arms.
this was the first time i've been delivered in such a way. once again, i told God, I JUST WANT TO TRUST YOU. if i didn't i know nothing will change. to have the presense of God is your duty to pull it down for yourself. do something to show God that you are serious about His works.
today i did. and i know i always will.
, be my escape & joy :)
@ 11:52 PM
PROFILE
regina neo.
female. :)
03 december 1985.
child of God.
graduated SP student.
preschool edu student.
zen vision.
acoustic guitar. the tabernacle CD.
more heels.
trendy clothes.
converse high heel shoes.
cool design watches.
hat that suits me.
brazil jacket. :)
formal jacket.
jay zhou's autograph. haha*
